Fifth Poem

We’ll cross that bridge 

When we come to it is what I say

When I am tired of being nervous 

What I mean is when we get there

To that bridge, I will dig my heels

Like a cow going down stairs

I will want to throw up and refuse

Until I want what’s on the other side 

Bad enough and even then

I will resent that bridge so fucking much

Curse it for being built, curse this river too

I’ll stop in the middle and weep 

The worst is over you will say, as though 

Suspended midpoint, at the crux of my panic

That makes any sense at all

I know myself and how ugly it is

To watch; so excessive, the drama, the grief

I know you will want to turn away from me

In that moment and that’s why I refrain

As though by the time the precipice comes

To me, I will be someone else, stepping

Easily across the threshold

Moving through space as though gravity

Is just an idea 

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